It's not what happens that matters, it's when it happens that makes the situation.
Like giving birth, once your pregnant you know birth is going to happen, that's not what you are anxious about most... your anxious about when it happens.
Like death, it's going to happen no doubt, but when.
Like dating that special girl and you get so nervous with your ring in the pocket because you want the timing to be perfect.
That moment that you shift from 1st to 2nd gear in the big race. If you miss it, you miss that lead position.
Did you know there is a theory that the order in which you were born into your family has a big impact on who you are today?
Timing is everything.
I've been battling in a war within myself for a few years now. It seems timing has been a soldier on both sides.
I've decided to use timing against myself in little ways to start a battle that I have been procrastinating.
I feel like I will win the war in great proportions if timing is on my side.
The word I've been ignoring? SCHEDULE.
I have my kids on a pretty set schedule, it's flexible enough for spontaneity but structured enough for well balanced kiddos.
I, however, have not had myself on a schedule in years. Since before Aidan even.
I believe it is the key to my renewing.
So here it is. Like it or not (and I don't) my new schedule.
420am- Get up with husband. His day starts then, mine needs to too.
445am- see him off to work
446am- DO NOT GET BACK IN BED. Rather eat some breakfast, take my vitamins and do something other then relaxing. Do something that takes effort.
I'm thinking I can use this time to put away the dishes from the wash the night before. Start a new load of laundry, fold whats done. Organize the pictures off my iphone into their respective picture folder on my laptop...
I may even decide to use this time to do my low impact step aerobics.
As long as it's mind stimulating I need to do it. I need to be ready and alert for the day by the time the kids get up between 730-8am.
Once they are up it's breakfast time, followed by showers and getting dressed.
At this point I have no idea what we'll do. Aidan no longer goes to school due to intense car problems so it's time to get creative. No movies and no long periods of free play. (free play ends up in a great mess and bored cranky kids)
1200 noon- Lunch time and then nap time for 2 hours afterwards.
Insert more creativity until Josh gets home around 5:30pm in which I already have supper cooking. After supper it's playtime/rough house/sillyness until bedtime at 7pm.
After they are in bed depending on the night will be determined whether I will go to the gym for a cycling class or if Josh and I will spend the evening doing some of the things we love.
My goal is to be sleeping by 9pm.
Since I am in the 1st trimester of pregnancy I am hoping my long war with insomnia will have a peace treaty going at least for a few weeks.
I'm going to do my best. I need to. I need to feel comfortable in my own body and in my own head again. For myself and for our little (ever growing) family.
Because timing is everything.